You should not try to control every thought, it is not possible, it is not healthy, and it only delays the appearance of your desires. You must change and control the flow of your thoughts by focusing on how you feel.
Your thoughts and feelings should flow toward the positive feelings of your dreams, goals, and intent. The best way to do this is the “Stepping to the End” exercise daily. You will see a genuine change in your thoughts and feelings toward the positive. You will also notice the lack of struggle. By doing the “Stepping to the End” exercise for five minutes each day, you will allow the thoughts for the entire day to emerge in a powerful l direction.
However, what about the occasional negative, harsh, mean, or non-productive thought that comes out. By using Transformational Vocabulary, when you catch the negative thoughts you will be able to make a minor course correction. This mini course correction will leave you in a better feeling place. When you feel better, when you can work your way to being joyful, you are in charge. Once you make that correction move on, let it go. Do not punish yourself, do not dwell on it, and do not let the thought spend another two seconds in your awareness. By applying Transformational Vocabulary to the negative thought, you will begin to feel a change toward a better feeling place.
Let us look at a couple of systems with Transformational Vocabulary that will help make some changes for you.
Everyone hates me.
Every time I see them, they make me mad.
Every time I do this, I fail.
Everyone that is making money must have had an angle.
When you find yourself generalizing like this simply, ask yourself. Everyone? Everything? Take a moment, pause, and then move forward. Your mind will soon come to the feeling that you are making a silly statement and this will cut the power of the negative thought.
Example:
Statement: They always do this to me.
Your response: Always?
Pause and move on.
Statement: I always sabotage myself.
Your response: Always?
Pause and move on.
Statement: I always fail at this.
Your response: Really, always?
Pause and move on.
Statement: She always wants to reach out and make me mad.
Your response: All the time, always?
Pause and move on.
Words such as always, never, ever, are enormous generalizations and with the simple application of repeating those words as a question you will soon find your mind dismissing them. The key here is to create a brief pause and then move forward. If you take the time to dwell on the negative statement, you are of course adding energy to it.
Let us look at a different realm of Transformational Vocabulary. How many times have you said to yourself or aloud to someone else: I am doing such and such because I am forced?
I am doing what my boss says because I have to if I want to keep getting a pay check.
I have to take my son to the Doctor, because he is sick.
I have to do what my wife says or else I will be in trouble when I get home.
Really?
Do you have to do anything? Did you make a decision to do it? If your boss, ask you to do something could you not go out and find another job? Could you not do what your wife said to do? The bottom line here is that you made a decision, and to say that you have to do it is a lie. Often we make choices based upon what is the path of least resistance, but this is still your choice.
The next time you say I am doing such and such because I have to change it.
Say, I am doing such and such because I choose. The words ‘should, must, have to’, convert to ‘could, want to and choose to ‘.
Human conversation is largely an endless attempt to convince others that we are more assertive or clever or generous or successful than they might think if we did not carefully educate them. ~John Ortberg
